I think that part of having less self-judgment is observing oneself more impersonally. I often use this image:
When you go into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees… and some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens and some of them are – whatever. And you look at the tree, and you just – allow it. You appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is, you sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way, and you don’t get all emotional about it, you just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that, and you’re constantly saying, “You’re too this,” or “I’m too this,” or – that judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees, which means appreciating them just the way they are.
— Ram Dass
What you are looking for?
Like: happiness, peace, joy?
They are all in the present moment.
The Pureland of the Buddhist must be found in the present moment.
The Kingdom of Heaven, of the Catholics, of the Protestants, should also be found in the present moment.
Look at the tree — is a wonderful thing, a tree.
A tree is very beautiful.
A tree, to me, is as beautiful as a cathedral.
Even more beautiful.
There are times when I stand before a tree with the deepest respect.
I look into the tree and I saw the whole cosmos in it.
I saw the sunshine in the tree.
Can you see the sunshine in the tree?
Yeah, because without a sunshine no tree can go.
I see a cloud in the tree.
Can you see?
Without a cloud there cannot be a no rain.
I see the earth in the tree.
I see everything in the tree.
So the tree is where everything in the cosmos come into.
And the cosmos reveal itself to me in the tree.
Therefore to me a tree is a cathedral.
And I can take refuge in the tree.
And I can get nourished by the tree.
The tree belong to the Kingdom of God.
The tree belong to the Pureland.
And I can get in touch with the tree only if i go back to the present moment.
Because the tree can only be found in the present moment.
And that is why in and out is so important.